


Falling

by whysterias



Category: D.N. Angel
Genre: Also this is me coping with the end of the manga, And overcomes his trauma with his family and friends, Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen, POV Third Person Limited, Post-Canon, Satoshi gets adopted by the Saehara family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28991865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whysterias/pseuds/whysterias
Summary: "I wanna forget all this burden in my past."
Relationships: Harada Risa & Hiwatari Satoshi, Harada Risa/Hiwatari Satoshi, Hiwatari Satoshi & Niwa Daisuke, Saehara Takeshi & Hiwatari Satoshi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 8





	1. In which the Hug is Finally Acknowledged

After Dark disappeared, the hours continued to flow as if the incident had never occurred. Satoshi brought Risa home that evening before he visited the Niwa household to brainstorm a story for Commissioner Hiwatari’s disappearance. Daisuke slept next to him that night and, while comforted by his friend’s rhythmic breathing and familiar warmth, Satoshi kept his tired eyes on the window, watching as the evening skies brightened to a morning blue.

Commissioner Hiwatari was declared missing the next day, and Inspector Saehara decided to take Satoshi in for the time being. He moved into the Saehara household that same evening, everything he owned packed in a duffel bag weighing on his shoulder, and Takeshi showed him around the house.

Satoshi met Mama Saehara through a video call that same evening. She worked as a fashion designer, and her job had flung her off to Paris this time. He quite liked her.

After they hung up, he had a warm dinner with Takeshi and Inspector Saehara. It was leftovers from last night, but he enjoyed the food nonetheless.

That night, Satoshi slept next to Takeshi, who snored in his ear while either kicking him or rolling on him. Satoshi kept his tired eyes on the window, watching as the evening skies brightened to a morning blue.

He went shopping with the Saeharas the next day. They bought a bunk bed, a desk, and whatever else they thought that Satoshi would need. After that, the days fell back into their familiar rhythm as if the incident had never occurred.

Satoshi slept in the top bed for privacy. Takeshi took the bottom bed since he didn’t quite care. Their desks sat side by side in front of the window: Takeshi’s impeccably spotless and Satoshi’s covered in manila folders and schoolwork.

Everyday, Satoshi woke up, went to school, and attended the art club that Daisuke finally convinced him to join. On some evenings, Inspector Saehara would ask him for help on a case, and they always headed home after work with fried chicken for dinner. For the most part though, Satoshi spent his time after school with Daisuke and Takeshi.

Then Riku moved away.

Risa began to hang out with Daisuke and Takeshi just as much as she hung out with Ritsuko and the other girls, but she still maintained the same distance she had with Satoshi prior to the incident. She’d greet him, cordial and courteous, and she’d smile and laugh with the boys, just like him, but that was the extent of their relationship: friends of friends.

And that was how Satoshi’s second year in middle school came to an end.

…

The last of the art club members finally left. They were a group of giggling girls who clearly only joined to get closer to Satoshi but, after realizing that he wouldn’t pay any attention to them yet again, they decided to call it a day.

Satoshi sighed in relief when the door closed behind them and ran his hand through his hair. Daisuke, president of the art club, laughed at the strands that were sticking up.

“How long are you going to let them stay here?” Satoshi asked, watching the group walk and giggle down below.

“They’ll get tired eventually.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Just wait. They’ll eventually realize how boring you are and set their eyes on someone else.”

Satoshi shot Daisuke a look. He laughed before slipping off his stool.

“So what did you want to talk about?”

“My painting.”

Daisuke, eyes shining with curiosity, scurried over to Satoshi’s canvas. His jaw slacked.

Before him was the familiar visage of Dark outlined in pencil. The sharp angle of his eyes, his chiseled features, his charismatic smile, and his dark hair flowing around him: everything was detailed to utmost perfection.

“Oh my god.”

“How is it?”

“It looks just like him.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

Daisuke nodded, awestruck, but that eventually gave way to a darker expression on his face. “…why are you doing this, though?”

Satoshi shrugged. “I don’t know. Still life practice got boring, so I decided to try doing something different.”

“You could have done something else besides starting on a portrait of Dark.”

“I know, but this is what I ended up making.”

“…are you okay?”

“That’s a rhetorical question.”

Daisuke sighed. “It’s just—we’re worried about you, Satoshi. We don’t want you to hurt yourself, you know? If you’re not ready to face it, you don’t have to.”

“What? Would a portrait of _my father_ have been better?”

“No, Satoshi, I—”

“Sorry,” Satoshi said before getting off his stool. He grabbed his bag and made his way to the door. “I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.” At the entrance, he turned around to face Daisuke. “But when the hell am I going to ever be ready?”

…

The sun began to set, casting its golden hue on the busts and wooden stands by the wall. Since Inspector Saehara didn’t need his help that evening, Satoshi stayed after the club meeting to work on his painting. A palette full of varying hues of purple floated gracefully in his left hand while a worn brush sat precariously in his right, waiting to lay down another thoughtful stroke.

The door opened.

“Hello, Hiwatari-kun!”

He tore his eyes away from the canvas to see Risa standing there. She no longer had her customary pink ribbon tying her hair up; her dark locks cascaded down just like Riku’s. If she trimmed some off, she’d be the spitting image of her sister.

Perhaps that was why she changed her hairstyle.

“Are you heading home soon?”

He glanced at his watch: 6:04 PM.

“Maybe.” Satoshi noted the bag slung over her shoulder. “I’m assuming you’re on your way back?”

“Yeah.” She frowned. “Saehara-kun kept us all late today because our monthly issue is coming out. What a workaholic.”

Satoshi smirked. “Like father, like son.”

“His dad’s just like that?”

“Absolutely. His mom’s the same way, too, so it probably runs in the family.”

Risa giggled. The door opened again, and it was the man of the hour himself. He pouted.

“I’m not as bad as my parents.”

“Sure,” Satoshi sarcastically drawled.

Takeshi just shook his head. “Whatever, bro. You headin’ back soon?”

“Maybe. Don’t wait for me if you need to head out.”

“Nah. I kinda want to hit up the arcade for a bit before we go grocery shopping.”

“Can we drop by the bookstore, too? I need to grab a couple of things.”

“Yeah. I think I need some stuff from there, too.” Takeshi then turned to Risa. “You wanna stick around with us, then? No hard feelings if you need to jet, though.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll pass. I don’t want to stay out too late and worry my parents.” She waved with a smile. “I’ll see you two tomorrow then. Bye!”

Risa skipped out of the room while Takeshi walked over to examine Satoshi’s painting. He whistled.

“Yanno, you’re a little too talented for someone who doesn’t like painting.”

“Shut up. You know how I feel about it.”

“And yet you joined the art club.”

“I have to start somewhere with that positive reassociation and all.”

“And how’s that goin’ for ya?”

“Terrible. I’m hating every second of it.”

“Well, uh, nobody asked you to make a painting of that Dark Mousy fellow, yanno?”

“Couldn’t help it. His handsome face kept bothering me.”

…

Mama Saehara popped up on his phone screen with the Parisian skyline behind her.

“Good evening, Satoshi.”

“Good morning, Saehara-san.”

“No need to be so formal with me! Please, call me Mama.”

“I’d rather not.”

She laughed. “Alrighty, hun. How’re you doing?”

“I’m alright.”

“And the therapy? Have you decided to go?”

“No. I don’t think I can.”

“That’s alright. You’re doing alright. No need to push yourself if you’re not ready.” She sighed. “I just need this project to finish and then I’ll take the first flight I can back to Japan. Just wait for me, okay?”

“No need to rush. Take all the time you need.”

“Oh honey, I appreciate the thought, but I don’t know if I trust those buffoons to take care of you. Speaking of them, how are they treating you?”

“They’re very nice. I like living here, Saehara-san. Thank you for taking me in.”

“I’m glad, Satoshi. And you’re very welcome! It’s the least we could do, truly.”

Her phone rang. Mama Saehara answered before launching into a furious tirade of French. After she hung up, she sighed and began to massage her temples.

“Sorry to cut this call short, but there’s an emergency. I’ll call again as soon as I can. Toodles!”

“Bye. Have a nice day.”

Satoshi saw himself reflected on his phone screen, and he took out his earbuds before leaving the room. He went downstairs to see Inspector Saehara at the table, can of beer open in front of him, while Takeshi began plating the food.

“How’s Ma?” Takeshi asked.

“Alright. Busy,” Satoshi answered. He grabbed some plates and bowls from the cabinets.

“Sound about right,” Takeshi said. “And you?”

“Hm?”

“How’re you?”

“Alright. Tired.”

Takeshi smirked. “Who isn’t?”

He patted Satoshi’s back before putting the plates full of table and hounding his dad about drinking: just another meal at the Saehara household.

Satoshi smiled as he began to set the table.

…

After the club meeting, Satoshi stayed behind to work on his painting, unrestrained by a request from Inspector Saehara. He mindlessly toiled away until the door opened.

“Hi, Hiwatari-kun!”

Risa’s voice broke his focus. Golden hour had passed and the blue hour settled in, dying the room a muted blue. Even Risa, despite her chipper demeanor, seamlessly blended in with the mood.

“Hey, Harada. Did the newspaper club meeting just finish?”

“Nope. It ended a while ago, but I stayed back to wrap something up.”

“So Takeshi’s already gone?”

“Yeah. I think he went to the arcade with a couple of our club members for some bonding time.”

“Ah.”

Risa swayed her head. “Are you heading home soon?”

“Yeah. Let me tidy up here, and I’ll leave with you.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

Satoshi covered his painting with a tarp before leaving the room to clean his brushes and palette. He returned to see Risa on a stool, watching something on her phone. She laughed until she noticed he had returned, and she paused her video before offering a weak wave and smile.

Satoshi grabbed his bag. “You ready to head out?”

“Yup!”

She hopped off the stool. Satoshi closed the door behind them before they walked to the faculty office. He bowed before entering, leaving the keys to the art room with the frazzled student-teacher, and bowed after leaving. Risa trailed behind him uncharacteristically calm and quiet the whole time.

When they got to the shoe lockers, Risa finally broke her silence.

“Hiwatari-kun,” she began as he took off his slippers, “did you know him?”

“Know who?”

“The person I was waiting for that day at the lamppost.”

“It took you this long to ask me about that?”

Risa giggled. “Sorry. I couldn’t find a good time to bring it up.”

“Really? I thought you’d do it by screaming at me about hugging you and overstepping boundaries.”

Risa giggled again. Satoshi raised his eyebrow as he slipped on his shoes. “I was thinking about it, but I thought it’d be too rude to. After all, you appeared when I needed someone the most. Thank you for that.”

“I had a snarky reply to that but, since you’re being genuine, I’ll keep it to myself.”

They reconvened at the entrance. Risa’s smile looked more genuine that the one she had earlier.

_Good._

“So, why bring it up now?” Satoshi asked as they began walking out.

“I tried to forget about it. Why should I stay hung up over someone I don’t remember? But, well, long story short, I couldn’t. I want to know who he was.”

They stopped at an intersection. Cars rushed by while commuters joined them, preoccupied with their own lives. Satoshi focused on the red light of the crosswalk, trying not to look at Risa’s expression.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Of course I do! Why else would I be asking you about him?”

“And what if I tell you that it might be overwhelming?”

“So? I’d still want to know!”

“Even if it’ll make you cry?”

“Of course! I don’t want to just forget about him!”

Satoshi sighed. The light at the crosswalk turned green, and they began to move. Risa’s head bobbed with each step, and Satoshi focused on the sidewalk to avoid looking at her.

“Harada, I’d rather not see you cry,” he said. “It makes me uncomfortable.”

“Okay then. I’ll try not to cry.”

“You? Who displays your emotions for the whole world to see? Forget it.”

Risa grabbed his arm, and he turned around. She forced him to look at her. He saw the determination in her eyes, burning just as much as it did when she was chasing Dark mere months ago.

“Hiwatari-kun, please.”

How could he say no to her?

“Alright. Fine. Just give me some time, okay?”

He brushed off her arm, frustrated by her stubbornness. But he saw the softness in her expression when he yielded, and he etched it in his memory.


	2. In Which Satoshi Actually Gets to School on Time

“—tosh—”

“Sa—shi!”

“ _Satoshi!”_

He opened his eyes. Takeshi loomed over him, hair disheveled and eyes wide with concern. Satoshi felt warm until a chill cut through his bones; he was drenched in sweat.

“Bro, you alright?”

“…does it look like I’m alright?” Satoshi croaked. His chapped lips and parched throat made it difficult for him to speak.

“Aight. If you’re giving me attitude, you’re gonna be fine.”

Takeshi’s bedhead disappeared. Satoshi expected his roommate to leave him alone and float back to dreamland, but the door creaked open as Takeshi stomped out. His footsteps crescendoed as he returned, and his gravity-defying hair that rivaled Daisuke’s at the moment popped up by Satoshi’s bedside.

He propped Satoshi up, fluffing his pillow before handing him a bottled water. Takeshi placed a cold compress on Satoshi’s forehead and watched, eyes surprisingly sharp, Satoshi take a sip.

“Bad nightmare?” Takeshi asked.

“Yeah.”

“Do ya remember what it was about?”

“No.”

“Wanna go for a walk?”

“Isn’t it too late for one?”

“So? Do ya wanna go on one or not?”

Satoshi checked his phone. The lock screen read 2:07 AM.

“…yeah. Let’s go for a walk.”

Takeshi helped Satoshi down from the top bunk. They both put on a light jacket before heading downstairs, slipping on their shoes before walking onto the empty streets of Azumano. Satoshi looked at the darkened windows of the houses lining the road before glancing up at the night sky. His eyes then lingered on the street lamps above them before they flitted over at Takeshi.

He had his hands in his pockets. Their eyes met.

Takeshi said nothing.

The muscles in Satoshi’s body relaxed and he focused on the rhythmic count of his footsteps. He noted that Takeshi’s were slightly off from his.

“How long has it been since my last nightmare?” Satoshi asked.

“Truthfully? Last night,” Takeshi answered with nonchalance. “But most nights, you don’t keep me up with all your, um, noise.”

Satoshi didn’t like the hesitation he heard in Takeshi’s response. He bit his lip. “…sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize, bro. Better out than in, I always say.”

They made it to one of the busier streets. A lone sedan passed by as they stood at the intersection, unmoving despite the lack of traffic and the green light for pedestrians.

“You know, I never expected you to be this…”

Takeshi raised his eyebrow.

“Accommodating? Responsible? Understanding?” Satoshi paused, irritated he couldn’t find the right word to express himself. “You never seemed the type.”

Takeshi frowned. “I know I come off a certain way, but that doesn’t mean I’m a douchebag.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

“There ya go apologizing again!” Takeshi sighed. “Do we have to make one of those jars where ya have to toss in one hundred yen every time ya apologize?”

“Absolutely not,” Satoshi barked.

Takeshi’s laugh echoed before it petered off. His eyes were focused on the sidewalk at the other side of the intersection. Satoshi followed Takeshi’s gaze; there was nothing there. Takeshi sighed next to him.

“Yanno, I had the wrong idea about you for the longest time, too. I thought you had your whole life in order. That you were some stoic hotshot the world couldn’t touch.

“Then I lived with you and, I dunno, bro, I can’t imagine going through the half the shit you went through and are still going through. And I’m not sayin’ that ‘cause I pity you, nothin’ like that, but only now do I see how much you’ve been hiding and struggling with.”

“It’s a little pathetic, isn’t it?”

“Nah. What you’re goin’ through ain’t pathetic. Not at all.”

Another lone sedan passed by.

“Are you just being nice to me because you’re my ‘brother?’”

Takeshi glared at Satoshi. “Bro, do ya really think I’m doin’ this because I’m _obligated_ to?”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

Satoshi felt so small under Takeshi’s scowl. He braced himself for Takeshi to scream at him. After all, those weren’t words you just admit to people.

But Takeshi just wrapped his arm around Satoshi’s shoulders and pulled him closer.

“Goddammit, Satoshi, how many times do we have to hammer this shit into your head? Me, Daisuke an’ my parents aren’t doin’ this because we’re obligated to. We’re doin’ this because we care, you dumbass.”

The warmth and physical affection felt so awkward, but Satoshi didn’t hate it. He leaned his head against Takeshi’s, trying to hold back the tears stinging his eyes.

“…because all of you love me?”

Takeshi pulled away, resting his hands on Satoshi’s shoulders and staring at him straight in the eye. He had the biggest grin on his face.

“Damn, straight, Satoshi! It’s because we love you!” Takeshi scooped Satoshi into a hug, skewing Satoshi’s glasses from the sudden ruckus and scaring the sentimentality from the situation. “I love you, you stubborn son of a bitch!”

“Okay! _Okay_! Let go of me!”

“No!”

Satoshi attempted to fix his glasses while in Takeshi’s vice grip, but he couldn’t and decided to weakly return Takeshi’s hug. Only then did Takeshi let go.

“Wanna grab some ice cream before we head back?” Takeshi asked.

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

They ducked into a nearby convenience store and, after an awkward exchange with the cashier, they walked out with their goods: Takeshi had a popsicle, and Satoshi had an ice cream bar. (And they also had a bag of assorted frozen treats to bring home.)

“Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way,” Takeshi began, nibbling on his popsicle as they headed home,” level with me, bro.”

“Yeah?”

“What might’ve caused your terrible nightmare?”

“Why are you asking me that question?”

“Your nightmares were terrifying when you first moved in, but they’re pretty tame now, so I was wonderin’ if somethin’ might’ve triggered it.” Takeshi paused. “Don’t tell me it’s the Dark Mousy portrait!”

Satoshi shrugged. “Maybe? I’ve been working on it for a while though, so I don’t think that’s it.”

“Fair. Then, what—”

“Harada asked me to tell her about Dark.”

Takeshi smacked Satoshi’s arm.

“Hey! What was—”

“Bro, in what world do you think you’re in any position to be doing that right now?”

“She was adamant!”

“Then you should’ve been more adamant!” Takeshi sighed. “Satoshi, I know that it’s something you’re working on, but you really should care more about yourself. _Please_.”

…

Takeshi and Satoshi never made it to school on time.

They would always get there right when the gates would close and the teachers on tardy duty would scold Takeshi for keeping Satoshi from punctuality before letting the boys in without any consequences. And, when they would arrive in the classroom, their homeroom teacher would target Takeshi for his rampant tardiness while Satoshi quietly slipped into his seat without much of a fuss.

(In reality, it was actually Satoshi keeping them from getting to school before the first bell. Takeshi learned that Satoshi was a pain in the ass to wake up, so he usually spent his morning at his desk. Whenever Satoshi would meet his eyes while rushing to get ready, he always saw a judgmental smirk on Takeshi’s face.)

But Satoshi, for once, actually got up while Takeshi was getting ready. The two left for school at a reasonable time that morning and bumped into Daisuke and Risa at the school gates.

“Congrats on waking up early!” Daisuke greeted.

Risa giggled next to him.

Satoshi rolled his eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Takeshi patted his back. “Bro, this is monumental for you.”

“Shut it.”

Risa and Takeshi began talking about some K-pop song that just dropped. And Daisuke began talking to Satoshi about his plans for the art club.

Satoshi appreciated this distance from Risa. As long as Takeshi and Daisuke were there, he had a safe buffer.

Thank god he wasn’t in the same class as her.

…

Inspector Saehara locked the door behind them. The sun had set a while back, so he and Satoshi stepped onto the evening streets of Azumano. They were on their way to grab fried chicken for dinner before heading home.

Office workers were only just clocking out, so the two passed by commuters in business casual. Passersby were either alone, rushing off someplace, or leisurely strolling about, socializing in groups. Inspector Saehara and Satoshi also passed by students either on their way to cram school or back home.

In the middle of a conversation about stocks, a young woman wearing Azumano High’s uniform bumped into Inspector Saehara. She furiously apologized before rushing off as her pigtails bounced behind her, muttering something under her breath about being late to cram school again.

“Do you wanna go to cram school?” Inspector Saehara asked. “I know your grades are good, but it wouldn’t hurt if you’re aiming for a prestigious high school.”

“I have a Bachelor’s degree, remember?”

“I know,” Inspector Saehara huffed. “It was just a suggestion.”

“Then suggest it to Takeshi. He needs it more than I do.”

“Nah. He’s already decided on going to Azumano High.”

“Why? He’s got the potential to aim for a better school.”

“He wants to stay close to home.”

“That’s a waste.”

“Yanno, there’s more to life than success,” Inspector Saehara said. “I may not show it, but I do miss Ma terribly when she’s overseas, so I appreciate having Takeshi around.”

“And he made that decision because of you?”

“Yeah. He knows he might be at a little disadvantage when applying to universities, but he’s got plans to make up for it.”

“Then why are you and Saehara-san forcing me to stay in school for at least one more year when you’re not pushing Takeshi to try harder?”

Inspector Saehara let out a guffaw at this. His reaction only confused Satoshi more.

“I dunno about you, but it seems a little unfair for me to let a fifteen year old go straight into the workforce, college degree or not.”

“I don’t know about you, but it seems a little unfair to me that you’re forcing me to ‘relearn’ things I already know in the hope that I may want to waste away another three years of my life in high school.”

Inspector Saehara just laughed at Satoshi’s snarky comment.

Satoshi didn’t see his reply as a joke. The Saeharas laughed at the strangest of things and made a big deal over the littlest of things. Even after living with them for a while, their theatrics were still foreign to him.

“I suppose, but Ma and I don’t want you to shoehorn yourself into that path. And who knows? You may change your mind between now and December!”

“I highly doubt it.”

Inspector Saehara laughed again.

Besides, even if Satoshi, for whatever reason, decided he wanted to waste another three years in high school, he had already gone through the college experience once. After high school, he only had two options available to him: work or attend graduate school. He certainly didn’t want to toil through studying again, so the latter option was off the table.

Honestly, Satoshi didn’t understand Inspector Saehara and Mama Saehara’s insistence on him “living his youth.” Were they nostalgic of their own youth? Trying to live vicariously through him? Or was there something here that Satoshi wasn’t understanding but that they, two bona fide adults, did?

Which only then begged the question…

“Why did you and Saehara-san decide to take me in?” Satoshi asked.

They stopped at a crosswalk. Satoshi glanced over at Inspector Saehara, but the older man’s expression showed nothing. It was his usual gruff face, disinterested with the bustle surrounding them.

“I was wonderin’ when you were gonna ask that question,” Inspector Saehara admitted.

“I didn’t think I could. It seemed a little rude to ask after all your hospitality.”

“It ain’t rude. You’re curious, and you have the right to know,” Inspector Saehara said. “I want you to feel comfortable asking us for stuff, yanno. I don’t want you feelin’ like you can’t or shouldn’t.”

“But— ”

“You shouldn’t have to feel responsible for my, or anyone’s, feelings. How I feel is on me. And if somethin’ you ask makes me uncomfortable, I’ll let you know.”

Inspector Saehara ruffled Satoshi’s hair. He looked over at the older man who had the biggest grin on his face. Reassured, Satoshi allowed a small smile to slip.

“As long as you keep your word on that, I’ll try to get more comfortable about asking for stuff.”

“Atta boy.”

The light turned green, and they crossed the street.

“Anyways, uh, Ma and I were already planning on taking you in,” Inspector Saehara answered. “We waited to see if the Niwas wanted to adopt you, since Daisuke’s your friend an’ all, but he said it’d probably be better for you if we took you in.”

“Did he say why?”

“Nope. Figured your close friend would be excited to live with you so, if he had something against it, then he prolly had a reason why.”

“Did you know about it before taking me in?” Satoshi asked.

“About your issues an’ stuff? I had an inkling that something was up, but I only really knew when ya told us about it.”

“…how did you and Saehara-san take it so well?”

Inspector Saehara just smiled. “Honestly, Satoshi, this ain’t Ma’s and my first go around with somethin’ like this.”

The words danced on Satoshi’s tongue. They screamed in his head. He wanted to know what Inspector Saehara meant, to learn about another situation similar to his. Inspector Saehara noticed Satoshi’s face, scrunched in thought, and let out a hearty laugh.

“One day, Ma will tell you about it, alright? It ain’t really my place to share it.”

“…fine.”

“Now then, where should we grab chicken from today?”

…

Yet another art meeting ended. The fangirls that initially joined had long left. In their stead were passionate first-years, crazy about art and simultaneously enamored with Satoshi’s handsome visage and artistic prowess.

The second and third years contended that Satoshi had the personality of a wet block of tofu. They all bickered for a while for a while until Daisuke broke it up.

Satoshi laughed at this. Everyone gasped.

“I think I might need to ban you from smiling for the safety of my club,” Daisuke joked, handing Satoshi a warm black coffee from the vending machine.

Satoshi nestled the drink in his hand, nursing it like a baby chick before looking out the window. He spotted the art club members in a group, arguing about something until they noticed Satoshi looking at them. They waved enthusiastically, and he returned their gesture, albeit calmer, with a small smile, and the group returned to their conversation absolutely giddy.

“Maybe you should,” Satoshi quipped.

Daisuke laughed before pulling off the tarp covering Dark’s portrait. It looked complete to the untrained eye, but Daisuke knew there was still work to be done.

“You’ve made really go progress on this,” Daisuke said. “Are you planning on doing something with it?”

Satoshi shrugged, examining the painting while sipping on his drink. He noted spots he wanted to work on while Daisuke continued to study it.

“Why don’t you give it to me?” Daisuke suggested. “I think my mom might appreciate it.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“What else would you do with it?”

“Give it to Harada.”

Daisuke made a face, trying to hold back from saying what was on his mind. He had a way of wording his thoughts as gently as possible, but the facial journey to his decision said everything.

“Whatever you want to say, Takeshi’s already said it but worse,” Satoshi said as he got ready to work, squeezing some paint onto his pallet. “Don’t feel like you need to sugar-coat it for me.”

Daisuke sighed. “I think this is a terrible idea.”

“Thanks,” Satoshi drawled. “I’m aware.”

He glanced over at Daisuke again to see if he could gather anything from his friend’s expression. Illuminated by the setting sun, he witnessed yet another facial journey: introspective instead of judgmental.

Perhaps Daisuke had something to say about Risa, especially since he was the closest to her out of the trio of boys. Maybe there was something hidden behind her loud screeches whenever Takeshi would hound her about something or the silent, composed smile she had whenever Satoshi found himself alone with her.

But Daisuke just kept it to himself, giving Satoshi a reassuring pat on his back before working on his own painting.

Satoshi knew that telling Risa about Dark was threatening the distance between them. He preferred those smiles compared to her screaming into his ear. As long as Risa behaved herself around him, he knew that she wasn’t comfortable in his presence.

For his sake, he wanted it to stay that way.

…

Satoshi woke up at a reasonable time yet again. To celebrate his achievement, Inspector Saehara gave them some money to buy some _nikuman_.

And so, they stood in front of the convenience store by the school, watching students pass by while they nibbled on their steamed buns and sipped on their milk.

Takeshi looked down at his phone for a bit, and Satoshi spotted Daisuke and Risa walk by. He nearly called them over when he noticed the exuberance in Risa’s expression: shining, just like how she looked like when she was around Dark.

“…shit.”

…

Satoshi woke up that morning to an empty room. Takeshi planned a team-building event for the newspaper club that day, so he said he would be out for a while.

After stretching, Satoshi headed downstairs. Inspector Saehara stood in front of the stove, focused on the pan of scrambled eggs.

“Good morning, Saehara-san.”

“G’morning, Satoshi,” he greeted. “Yanno, you can call me ‘Pa.’”

“Absolutely not.”

He sighed before turning off the stove, setting the pan of eggs to the side to cool. The rice cooker sang, signaling that the rice had finished cooking, so Satoshi helped Inspector Saehara set the table.

“Saehara-san, do you think me telling Harada-imouto about Dark is a mistake?” Satoshi asked once they both sat down to eat.

“I appreciate you asking me questions an’ all, but do ya have to ask me now?”

“I wanted to ask you when Takeshi wasn’t around.”

“Can we eat first though?”

After saying their thanks, Satoshi gulped his food down. Inspector Saehara watched in awe before shaking his head and digging in. Once he finished, Satoshi had already cleaned up his spot at the table and washed most of the dishes.

“So?” Satoshi started as he finished cleaning up the table.

Inspector Saehara sighed. “Do you think it’s a mistake?”

“Daisuke and Takeshi—”

“I ain’t askin’ about what they think. I’m askin’ about what you think.”

Satoshi didn’t answer. He focused on washing the dishes, feeling the warm water running over his hands, the soap clinging to his skin. The sound of the faucet said everything.

“Satoshi, what do you think?” Inspector Saehara asked again.

He finished rinsing the last dish. Satoshi placed it on the drying rack before turning off the water and facing Inspector Saehara.

“…I don’t know.”

Inspector Saehara got up from the table. “Alright. Let’s go call Ma.”

“No, don’t do that!” Satoshi protested. “It’s late over there and I don’t want to bother her.”

“Yer not botherin’ her.”

“Yes, I am! This whole thing is ridiculous—”

“This ain’t ridiculous.” The stern tone in Inspector Saehara’s voice startled Satoshi. “Whatever problem yer havin’ is a problem so stop trying to minimalize it. ‘sides, Ma’s better at figurin’ out emotions than me.”

Satoshi held back from protesting and silently followed Inspector Saehara to the master bedroom. The older man grabbed his phone and dialed Mama Saehara before lying down on his bed. Satoshi sat next to him, uncomfortable about calling Mama Saehara, when she picked up. Her face appeared on the tiny screen, and she looked drowsy.

“What do you want, Pa?” she asked.

Inspector Saehara handed the phone to Satoshi. Mama Saehara perked up immediately.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

Satoshi’s breath hitched. “I’m sorry to disturb you, Saehara-san, but—”

“Honey, no, please don’t apologize. It’s alright.” He heard something move on her end. “What’s wrong?”

He took a deep breath. “Do you think me telling Harada-imouto about Dark is a mistake?”

“Do you think it’s a mistake?” she calmly echoed.

“Daisuke and Takeshi think it is, but I genuinely don’t know. It feels like it is, though.”

“Why do Daisuke and Takeshi think it is? And why do you think it is?”

Her soft tone asked questions Satoshi had difficulty answering. He preferred hearing someone speaking to him, interrupting him, calling him out, explaining things to him, than hear his timid voice struggling to respond to something so simple.

“Daisuke and Satoshi said that I should take care of myself first. And, for me honestly, it scares me.”

Mama Saehara was silent. She pondered for a bit before nodding and responded. “I do have to agree with Daisuke and Takeshi about taking care of yourself but, funnily enough, sometimes facing things that scare you is actually taking care of yourself.”

Satoshi blinked. “What do you mean by that?”

“Daisuke and Takeshi mean well. They want to protect you from getting hurt, so they’re telling you not to do it. And, if you’re not ready for it, Pa and I would stop you from doing it , too.”

“But I don’t feel ready for it at all!”

The decision felt like taking a step into the woods without a flashlight. Whenever Risa approached him, he felt like he was drowning, terrified that she would ask about Dark. Why did he have to face something he had no strength to acknowledge just because one stubborn, teenage girl wanted to now about her forgotten lover?

“Sometimes, you won’t feel like you’re ready, and that’s okay,” Mama Saehara answered. “But you don’t have to go through this alone anymore. We’re all with you now.”

“At the end of the day, what you do is your decision,” Inspector Saehara said. “If you don’t want to help Harada-imouto, then tell her you can’t help her anymore. And if you want to, like Ma said, we’re with you every step of the way.”

“What type of answer is that?” Satoshi asked. “You two are the adults here. Don’t you have something clearer than that?”

“Sorry, Satoshi, but this isn’t a decision we can make for you,” Mama Saehara answered.

Satoshi wanted to scream. Why did this situation have to be so difficult to deal with? Calculus was no problem; he could derive and integrate equations all day, but this? This whole damn thing made him so uncomfortable, and he _hated_ it.

Daisuke and Takeshi told him this wasn’t a good idea. Inspector and Mama Saehara told him otherwise. How the hell could he make a decision when he didn’t have a unanimous answer?

“You know, Satoshi,” Inspector Saehara began, shaking Satoshi out of his thoughts, “I was in that situation, too. Everyone around me thought that I was making a terrible mistake to the point that I began to second guess my decision.”

“And?”

His expression softened. “I ain’t gonna lie, the whole thing was hell, but it worked out alright in the end.”

“That’s a terrible answer,” Satoshi grumbled.

Inspector Saehara laughed. “I suppose it is.”

Satoshi glanced down at Mama Saehara. She looked lost in a happy thought.

“Saehara-san,” he called, catching Mama Saehara’s attention,” what do you think?”

“I don’t have a personal anecdote like Pa, but I think you should go for it. If you’re able to think about something like that, then you should give it a shot. And, speaking from personal experiences, you’re a lot stronger than you think you are. If the whole thing gets difficult, you can always take a break before jumping back into it.”

Satoshi mulled over her words while looking at Mama Saehara. She was wide awake, comfortably sitting up in the bed by the lamplight. Was that what it looked like to be an adult? Able to take on other’s burdens while giving advice, looking like they’ve been unaffected by the toils of life?

“Thank you, Saehara-san. And sorry again for calling you this late.”

“You’re very welcome, Satoshi. And please don’t apologize. I’m glad you called me for this. She yawned. “Unfortunately, I have a packed schedule waiting for me, so I must now depart. _Au revoir_ , my loves.”

She hung up. Satoshi handed the phone back to Inspector Saehara.

“We’ll be proud of you no matter what decision you make.”

“…why?”

“Because you finally asked for help. Thanks for letting us know.”

Satoshi never understood why the Saeharas celebrated such small things like that. Sometimes, he felt like they treated him like a kid, but the pure elation on their faces whenever he accomplished something said otherwise.

These menial things meant a lot to them, and he couldn’t take that away. Not when their idiosyncrasies began to grow on him, too.

“Let’s go out for some coffee,” Inspector Saehara sad. “You look like you need that pick-me-up.”

“Is that fair to Takeshi?”

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

…

Takeshi happened to spot them through the window on the way back home from his outing. Risa was with him, and she casually followed Takeshi in while he sauntered over to where Inspector Saehara and Satoshi sat. Satoshi watched, amused, as Takeshi scolded his father for leaving him out of “bonding time with Satoshi.”

Eventually, they settled down before directing their attention towards Risa, begging her to join the Saehara family for an afternoon snack. When she relented, Takeshi and her fell in line to order.

Inspector was busy enjoying the brownie he bought with his coffee. Satoshi was about to return to people-watching when he noticed Takeshi’s familiar expression while joking about something with Risa: radiant with just a touch of gentleness.

…oh.

…

Daisuke and the rest of the club had long left. Satoshi, content with the work he had just finished, began cleaning up. He draped a tarp over his canvas and gathered up the brushes, dumping them into his water cup. Palette in hand, he picked up the cup and was about to leave the room—

Risa opened the door, bathed in the blue glow of the evening.

“Oh!”

Satoshi blinked at her startled reaction. “Hello, Harada. Takeshi keep you long again?”

She shook her head. “Oh, no. Ritsuko just finished something up for the robotics club, so I kept her company.”

“Isn’t she the club president?”

“Yup.” Risa laughed. “I don’t get how she gets that stuff and likes it, but it sure is interesting when you see the final results.” She noticed what Satoshi was holding and stepped out of the way. “Whoops. Sorry about that!”

“No issue, Harada. Did you need something, though?” he asked.

He made his way to the bathroom and Risa followed. “I just figured we could walk home together if you were still here.”

Satoshi raised his eyebrow. “What about Fukuda?”

“She has cram school today, so she rushed out.”

“She’s been busy?”

“Yup. It’s been hard to see her lately.”

They got to the bathroom. Satoshi stepped in and after he finished cleaning everything, he came out to see Risa sipping on a strawberry milk. She handed him a can of black coffee that he accepted, and they headed back to the art room.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re trying to bribe me right now.”

“Maybe.”

He glanced over at her, and she giggled. Satoshi became painfully aware of what this meant to the two of them, and Risa felt so far away from him in that instant. He had to quell the desire to crush the can in his hand.

“Why haven’t you asked about him sooner?” Satoshi asked.

“Mm, I don’t know. I felt like I needed to brace myself for it. And that you needed to prepare yourself for it, too.”

“Was that a hunch of yours?”

“Yup. You’re not very easy to read, Hiwatari-kun.”

They reached the classroom. He let Risa go in before he followed. Satoshi tidied up while Risa busied herself with her phone.

How sharp was Risa’s intuition? Even Daisuke and Takeshi had difficulty seeing past his unexpressive face. Yet, without much effort, Risa could see past everything.

Terrifying.

When Satoshi finished putting away all the art supplies, he looked at Risa. She laughed at something on her phone and, when she noticed Satoshi looking at her, she put her phone away and smiled.

“Ready to head out and talk about my special someone?” she asked with that lilting tone.

“No.”

“Then is there something on my face?”

“No.”

Her amusement gave way to confusion. “Then…?”

Satoshi sighed. He couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer.

“Do you want to see what he looked like?”

Risa’s eyes sparkled. He urged her over to the covered painting and slipped the tarp off, revealing the completed Dark Mousy portrait.

And Satoshi, bathed in the blue flow of the recently set sun, could only stand there and watch as the pure elation in her face gave way to tears.

Dammit.

…

“You’re giving it to me?” she asked after she calmed down.

“Yes. The paint’s still drying, so I’ll let you know when you can take it home.”

Risa sniffled before looking at the painting again.

“What’s his name?”

“Dark Mousy.”

She giggled. “What a silly name!”

“Indeed.”

She continued to admire the work. Her eyes glistened under the fluorescent lights, and her smile wouldn’t leave her face.

“You don’t want to learn more about him?” Satoshi asked.

She looked at him and beamed brighter than the lights above. “Nah. I think this is enough for today. There’s always another time to find out more about him.” Risa slipped off the desk and straightened her skirt. “Anyways, let’s head out now.”

“Yes, we should.”

Satoshi covered the portrait. He took the club room keys out of his pocket and, after turning off the lights, locked the door behind them. They made their way towards the faculty office.

“I’m in the mood for some crepes. Wanna grab some on the way back? My treat.”

“I’ll pass.”

“Aw. You’re no fun.”


End file.
